Sans VS Ness
Original (Sharaku Jr.)= Description Two Telekinetic fighters from JRPGs with quirky styles fight on in a fight to the end. WHO WILL COME OUT ON TOP?! Interlude Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston Wiz: Psychics. They can be powerful, and very dangerous. Boomstick: And these two are some of the coolest. And they've got similar games! Wiz: Sans, the lazy skeleton from Undertale. Boomstick: And Ness, the psychic boy from'' ''Earthbound. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win.. A Death Battle! Sans Cues: Undertale - Ruins Wiz: It is unknown who, or where Sans came from. Boomstick: Apparently, he came one day with his brother Papyrus and..uh... asserted themselves, according to a shopkeeper. Wiz: Huh. Well, while his origin is mostly unknown, we do know a lot about his story in the 3 routes that you can take while in Undertale. In the neutral route, He will usually follow the player around, and joke with them, unless you kill Papyrus. At the end of that route, when you reach the Hall of Judgement he will judge you on how you do. Boomstick: If you kill some monsters along the way, he will say different things. But if you kill no monsters, he...congratulates you?! WHAT THE FUCK? I'd have killed all the monsters. With mah shotgun. Wiz: Actually, if you do a genocide run, he battles you. And he is the hardest boss in the game. Boomstick: Oh. Talk about having a hissy fit. Cues: Undertale - Megalovania Wiz: Sans' primary weapon in battle are bones. He controls them in patterns with his telekenisis. Boomstick: He utilizes Gaster Blasters, which may be connected to WD Gaster. Long story. Anyway, Gaster Blasters are things that look like goat skulls that shoot fricking LASERS!! Wiz: He also can throw you around with his telekenisis and give you a major headache. He also moves extremely fast so when you fight him he dodges everything!(Almost like teleportation) Well, until you beat him. He also has a poison effect called Karmic Retribution. This is an effect that slowly drains your health over time. But it only works if the opponent has committed sins. So, if the opponent has not committed any sins, it won't work, or it will probably end up healing them. He's also known to break the 4th wall a tiny bit. Boomstick: Sans is a nice guy. He is very laidback. Buuuuuut.. when you piss him off, you're done for. Wiz: He's a good guy, but he is verrrrrry lazy, and is known to sleep on the job a lot. He will tire out and fall asleep after a while, allowing you to strike back. Also, he only has one single point of HP. But he does have enough determination to keep fighting for a little while. Boomstick: Still, this is one Skele-Bro you do NOT wanna mess with. Sans: I'm Sans. Sans the Skeleton. Ness Cues: Onett - EarthBound/Super Smash Bros. Melee Wiz: In the year of 20XX, The entire human race is extinct. The evil entity Giygas has taken over the world with his incredible psychic abilities. He was so strong, even his physical body was not strong enough to sustain his power. Boomstick: But don't get me wrong, there were people that fought back. And one of them built a time machine disguised as a meteor. With it the alien known as Buzz Buzz went back 10 years in time to warn the chosen one. The boy named Luke Skywalker. Psyche!!! His name is Ness. Wiz: Buzz Buzz crashes in Onett, where Ness just so happens to be living in. He meets Ness and tells him what happens in the far-flung future. Boomstick: He also tells Ness that he is one of the chosen ones. One of four children embodied with Psycic powers, like that kid in The Shining. Wiz: He tasks Ness with finding the other three children, Paula, Jeff and Poo. Boomstick: HAH! HIS NAME IS POO?! WHAT WHERE HIS PARENTS THINKING? Wiz: Ugh.. Buzz Buzz also told Ness to find the Your Sanctuary locations in the world, 8 of them in total. And when you find them, you have the powers of the Earth with you. That's why Buzz Buzz gave him the Sound Stone; to record the melodies that the Your Sanctuary locations give off. Cues: Pollyanna/I Believe in You! - EarthBound Boomstick: But Ness is no ordinary kid. This kid progressively got stronger overy the course of his journey. He got like CRAZY strong. Wiz: Ness learned a variety of PK or PSI abilities. PK Fire is when he shoots fire out of his fingertips at a row of enemies, landing many hits. Boomstick: PK Thunder is a ball of electricity that Ness can control at will. Sure, alone it zaps real good, but Ness can hit himself with it and he becomes like a rocket!! So fricking cool. Wiz: PK Flash can stun enemies or potentially temporarily blind them. It can make people cry uncontrollably. But it also has a chance of a ONE-HIT KILL! PK Starstorm shakes stars and brings down meteors from the sky! Boomstick: Hypnosis makes you sleep,Healing stops all status effects like poison and PSI Lifeup heals Ness at large amounts. PK Freeze.. freezes. It's not exactly rocket science. PSI Shield proteccs, and Ness ataccs. Wiz: But, his most powerful attack, is PK Rockin'. This thing is so powerful, it never misses. It's a psychokinetic wave of yellow, red, and blue colored energy with a hexagonal pattern. It causes explosions of colorful light that damage the enemy. Boomstick: Ness just doesn't rely on PK/PSI attacks, he can fight well in hand to hand combat! He's able to make weapons out of everyday objects. When you get hit with his baseball bat, it for sure is a home run. Wiz: He is also very adept with the yo-yo. He's able to pull of great tricks like Around the world, and walk the cat. Yes that's a real trick. Boomstick: Ness is pretty tough. He's strong enough to damage a dog made of diamonds, fast enough to dodge lightning, lift a submarine, defeat his own evil self in the form of a gold statue in his mind, and he touched The Universe of Truth, which means... uh I actually don't know. Wiz, do you know? Wiz: Yes, actually. The Universe Of Truth was described as being "Both space and time itself". His psychic consciousness overlapped with everything in the universe, which allowed him to fight Giygas. Boomstick: Oh yeah and Ness can teleport. Is there anything he can't do? Wiz: Well, he can be affected by spores, can be diamondized and can cry uncontrollably. He can also get homesick sometimes because he misses his mom and sister, which will drastically affect his performance in battle. He is also a pacifist, so he won't fight unless he has to. Boomstick: Ness is 13, meaning he doesn't have much experience in formal training. But that doesn't stop this badass! Wiz: Also, Ness is a good kid. He is pure of heart, which was partly the reason he could beat Giygas with the power of the Earth. Boomstick: With his friends on his side and the power of the world, Ness will never back down. Not bad for a kid who wears his hat sideways. Ness: We make a great team, don't we? Pre-Battle Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: It's time for a BLUE APRON AD!!!!!! Blue Apron ad Boomstick: Wow look at this food. Oh wait you can't see it. This is only text...well, you can use the code "Die" to get 30% off your first 0 meals free..But right now, It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!! Fight Cues: Home Sweet Home - EarthBound Ness is walking along the snowy banks. He smiles with joy. "Wow. We beat Giygas! Ha ha!" He passes by some trees that have snow covered on the tops. Suddenly, he senses something. Music stops "Huh? What was that?" In the shadows, a glowing blue eye suddenly flashes. "Leave this place kiddo. Or else you'll have a bad time. An' you're a human. Here we kill those." Ness is shocked at what he just heard. "Look, I'm just passing through. I don't want any trouble." The eye speaks back to Ness, and this time, he's serious. "Well, the thing is, you look just like a human that killed my brother Papyrus." Cues: Running In The 90's - Max Coveri Ness' eyes widen. He starts to realize how this is going down. He and this person have to fight. The eye steps out of the shadows, revealing his skeleton body, with a blue hoodie and shorts. "Sup. I'm Sans. You should be burning in hell." They both square down and prepare for the battle. They jump at each other and they clash! FIGHT!! Sans jumps back, and sends a wave of bones at Ness. Ness dodges most of them, but then gets smacked square in the back by a bone. "Heh" Ness points his fingertips at Sans. The fingertips begin to glow and catch fire. Then he shoots a flame from them at Sans. "PK FIRE!" Sans sends a bone to deal with it. They both explode and Ness teleports behind Sans, ready to swing his baseball bat. But the instant Ness swings, Sans dodges right behind him and kicks him onto the ground. "Wow I sure put my SOLE into that. Really was a KICK." "Wow your puns suck." "So I've been told." They both rush at each other again. Ness releases a PK Thunder ball and aimed it at Sans. "Woah. Sparkles." He summons a Gaster Blaster and swats the electric ball away. Sans then proceeds to summon a swarm of Gaster Blasters. Then as if one, all shoot lasers at Ness. Ness jumps up super high and dodges all the lasers super quickly. "Not bad kiddo, but I ain't done yet." Ness smirks. Sans is confused as to why he's smiling "Me either. Let's continue." Cues: Flash In The Dark Oc Remix - Mega Man 9 Ness creates a ball of greenish energy and it starts to grow. "PK FLASH!!" A blinding light was released by the PK Flash that had exploded in a burst of energy. This act temporarily blinded Sans "Aaah! I can't see! So bright!" Ness was preparing to punch Sans, but a Gaster Blaster got in the way and got punched instead. The Gaster Blaster was sent flying into a wall. More Gaster Blasters crowded around Sans to try to protect him. Ness frowned. "What should I do. Oh! I know! PK FIRE!" Ness then proceeded to fire a barrage of PK Fires at the Gaster Blasters, destroying every one of them, excluding Sans. By then Sans had recovered from the blinding light. "Kid, I'd say it's time to finish this." "If you say so. PK STARSTORM!!" Just then, a bunch of meteors engulfed in blue flame began falling from the sky. Explosions everywhere, leaving a bunch of dust everywhere making it hard to see clearly. Ness dropped to the ground and looked around for Sans. "Did I get him?" Suddenly Sans appears right behind Ness!! "It's over." "Not YET!!" Cues: Solaris Phase 2 - Sonic The Hedgehog (2006 gross) Ness teleported behind Sans using PSI Teleport! "PK ROCKIN'!!!!" Ness released a colorful psycokenetic wave at Sans. Unable to dodge it, Sans stare in horror as the wave engulfed him. "Sorry Papyrus." Sans was vaporized in the wave. Ness makes a solemn face...then he walks away from out of the forest. "I'm sorry.... now I gotta get home." K.O! Post-Analysis Cues: Smiles And Tears - EarthBound Boomstick: Holy crap! That was awesome! Roll it again! Wiz: You do that. Sorry Undertale fans. I know you wanted Sans to win, but it was not his time. He could not win. While it's true that Sans may have had more experience, Ness was just, way way stronger. Boomstick: Ness' attacks can do way more damage than Sans' can, and Ness was just faster. Wiz: Sans has this poison/ status effect called karmic retribution. This damages the opponent that has committed sins, slowly chipping away their health. Boomstick: Buuut, it's useless against Ness, since he is a good child. He won't fight unless he has too. Ness defeated the evil inside of him, and defeated the embodiment of evil, Giygas. Wiz: In the end , Ness was too strong for Sans to handle. Honestly, it was kind of a stomp. Ness just had better attacks, he was stronger, and PK Rockin' is unavoidable, while Sans only has 1 hp. So Ness only had to land one hit. Boomstick: Looks like Sans got PK Wrecked! Wiz: The winner is Ness. Trivia *This was Sharaku Jr.'s first Death Battle on the wiki. *It is also the 1st appearence of Ness, the next being in Ness vs Silver. *This was written while Sharaku Jr. was in Mexico. *This battle had a cameo in Mario vs Madoka Next Time.. Ness walks out of the forest. "PSI Teleport!" He lands in a ruined city, but accidentaly hits a girl! "BLAZE!!! You're gonna pay for that!!" "What the?! Uh oh....." Ness vs Silver If there was a ScrewAttack Score.. |-| Remastered (Sharaku Jr.)= Sans_VS_Ness_Remastered_Redux_v2_(Sharaku).png|Sharaku Jr. (V.1) Sans_VS_Ness_Remastered_V6_(Sharaku)_(2).png|Sharaku Jr. (V.2) Sans_VS_Ness_Sprite_(Sharaku).png|Sharaku Jr. (V.3/Sprite Edition) Screenshot (599).png|SuperSaiyan2Link Released on the day of June 14, 2019!! One whole year after the Original! Description The two most famous characters from epicly awesome RPGs, who also happen to be psychics battle in an ultimate remastered fight of the pilot of Sharaku Jr.'s Death Battles!! Description (Alternative) Is Sans Ness? Is MatPat right?! Probably not, but here on Death Battle, we're here to find out who would win, not come up with theories that make '''no fucking sense'.'' Interlude Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston Wiz: Today, on the season 3 pilot of Sharaku Jr.'s Death Battles, we remaster his first ever episode. Boomstick: Now dis gon' be good! Well, we have Sans, the skeleton who wants you to have a bad time! Wiz: And Ness, the PSI Powerhouse! Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!! Death Battle doors close and open for Sans's analysis. Sans Nye He He! - Undertale Wiz: The land of the Underground has a ton of strange and, honestly pretty cool monsters. From talking goats, to lance-wielding fish. Boomstick: But visit one area called Snowdin, and you'll find two...skeletons. Papyrus, and his lazy brother, Sans. Wiz: The only problem with our explanation is that....well...we don't know where either Sans or Papyrus came fro- Boomstick: SANS IS NESS! Hah, just kidding. Wiz: I sure hope you are, because Ness beat Sans, and would that mean he beat himself? No, because Sans is Ness is a STUPID THEORY. While Sans' origin is basically unknown, we do know about what he does in Undertale. There are three routes you can take in Undertale. One, where you spare every monster you fight, one where you kill some monsters but not all, and one where you go psycho and murder every monster in the Underground, including Papyrus. Boomstick: As you presume, he gets pretty pissed if you kill every monster. But if you kill only some, he will say different things. He's kind of a dick about it if you kill multiple monsters. But, hey. You killed them sooo... Wiz: Sans is generally a laid-back kinda guy. He is pretty lazy, and frequently falls asleep on the job. He plays a trombone, and rides a red tricycle and can pedal fast enough to keep up with a car. And then there's his signature trait. He can break the fourth- Music scratches like a record and stops. Sans: hey guys. sans. - Undertale Boomstick: No. Nonononononono. Not another fourth wall breaker!! Deadpool was enough! Deadpool: Someone call me? Boomstick: SONOVA BITCH! GET OUTTA HERE! Deadpool: Awww fine, but I know you'll miss me. Boomstick: NOW!! Deadpool walks out of the booth. Wiz: So, tell us about yourself, Sans. Buuut, sorry to say, this won't really be a regular thing. You are really just a guest. Sorry. Sans: it's all good. sooo, yeah, if you kill every monster in the underground, i will get understandably pissed. Song That Might Play When You Fight Sans - Undertale Boomstick: Sans' main way of attacking is using telekinesis and large bone patterns. He's also got Gaster-Blasters, large white goat skulls that shoot laser beams out of their mouths. He even uses his telekinesis to throw his opponent around. Wiz: Sans' attacks also contain a status effect, called KR. This is a poison effect that lasts for quite some time, chipping away at the opponent's life. Sans: i got this. contrary to popular belief, my KR isn't based off of sins. it's just poison. Boomstick: Sans is incredibly quick, and is even capable of Teleportation. But what's a Death Battle episode without some math, right? Wiz: Sans is fast enough to dodge knife swings, and almost everything Frisk attacks him with. At least until he gets tired...and leaves him open for attack.. Sans: average swings of a knife are around 26 to 30 miles per hour. meaning i must have been able to react to that and move even faster. Boomstick: That's neat and all, but FUCKING TELEPORTATION! And, on top of that, Sans reacts faster than Frisk, who was able to dodge lightning. Lightning is around 200,000 to 240,000 miles per hour! Everyone can dodge lightning nowadays. Mega Man, Frisk, Ness...wait....OH MY GOD NESS VS FRISK CONFIRM-''' Sharaku Jr.: But I don't want to do that matchup. '''Boomstick: Oh...ok, nevermind. Wiz: Anyway, Sans is a formidable opponent, with or without his KR. But he's not perfect. Not by a long shot. Uh, no offense. Sans: none taken. yeah, i am not a perfect fighter. i am pretty lazy and when i do my job, i usually start to sleep. also, there's the fact that i only have a single point of hp. just....one. meaning that you only need to land a single hit to kill me. but the fact that i can dodge so fast makes that unlikely. Wiz: But even worse, is the fact that Sans' attacks have a strain on his body, making him tire out if you last long enough. In battle, Sans will slowly begin to sweat more and more until he falls asleep. Boomstick: And that will leave him open for an attack, killing him. Wiz: Still, even with his faults, Sans sure is one hell of a skeleton. Sans: hey thanks. if i'm still alive, i'll come see you during the post analysis. now roll my analysis closing video! Wiz: Fine. Death Battle doors close and open for Ness's analysis Ness The Cave of the Past - EarthBound Wiz: In the year of 199X, in the suburbs of Onett, a meteorite crashed on top of a hilltop. A few people noticed this. One of them was a young boy. His name...is Ness. Boomstick: Ness was just your average 13 year old boy. He loves to play baseball, he wears his hat sideways (what??) and he HOLDS THE FRICKIN' FATE OF THE UNIVERSE IN HIS HANDS!! Wiz: It's true. When Ness went up to see the meteor, an alien bee like creature called Buzz Buzz warned Ness about the future. In 10 years time, the alien destroyer of worlds and cosmic conqueror Giygas would take over the Galaxy. And the only way to stop him was to stop him in the present. Boomstick: So, basically, Ness is the Chosen One, along with three other kids, Paula, Jeff and Shit.. Wiz: POO! His name is Poo! Boomstick: Eh, same thing. Anyways, Ness was tasked to find the Eight "Your Sanctuary" locations, and unlock the power of the Earth. Now you may be thinking. "WHAT THE HELL IS A LITTLE KID GONNA DO AGAINST A COSMIC DESTROYER?!" Well, you aren't dealing with the average 13 year old boy anymore. Get it? Youyouyou get the DBZA reference? Magicant (Remix from Super Smash Bros.) - Mother Wiz: Ness is gifted in the use of PSI. Basically, he uses Psychokinetic abilities for offense, defense and various healing powers. Boomstick: He's got PK Fire, a small bolt of lightning that erupts into a column of flame on contact, hitting multiple times. Wiz: PK Flash is a giant glowing green orb of light that, when detonated, can cause damage, extreme crying and blindness. But it can even cause an instant kill! Although, that is very rare. PK Thunder is a ball of electricity that Ness can aim at his opponents, or even hit himself with to launch himself at his opponent. Luckily, it doesn't cause damage to himself. Boomstick: PK Freeze is similar to PK Flash, except without the instakill thing, and it freezes the opponent...it's not exactly Rocket Science. And there's PK Starstorm. This attack summons meteors engulfed in blue flame down from the sky. Ness can even aim these meteors at his opponent. Now that's epic. Wiz: But Ness isn't just about offense. He has quite a number of defensive PSI techniques as well. PSI Shield is where he surrounds himself in a protective force field. PSI Lifeup heals all of Ness's injuries, and PSI Healing heals Ness's status effects, like poison and sleep. Boomstick: PSI Magnet absorbs projectiles and heals Ness, PSI Hypnosis will make his opponents fall asleep, PSI Teleport...teleports Ness to a location, and PSI Paralysis will stun his opponents. Wiz: However, his strongest attack is PK Rockin'. This attack is a psychokinetic sound based energy wave that is colored blue, red and yellow. It's literal description is "causes massive amounts of damage to all enemies". Oh, and there's the fact that it NEVER MISSES. Boomstick: And, similar to the Scout from TF2, Ness wields a baseball bat that he uses to great effect. Wiz: He's also got a Yo-Yo for..some reason and he uses it to perform tricks like Walk the caaaat...and Around the World, using it to hit his enemies. Boomstick: That's awfully smart of him. I remember one time I was playing with a Yo-Yo, and I accidentally knocked out my brother. Wiz: Uhuh..wait, YOU HAVE A BROTHER?? Boomstick: Not anymore... The Attic's A Dungeon?! (Remix) - Mother 3 Wiz:.......Moving on....Ness is a really strong fighter. He's broken a dog made of diamonds, avoided lightning bolts, lifted a submarine, fought his own dark self in his mind. EarthBound is a weird game.. Boomstick: Lightning moves at 220,000 miles per hour! And Ness had help when he lifted the submarine from Jeff and Paula. Submarines weigh at least 48,000 tons. Assuming each child carried 1/3 of the weight, Ness lifted 16,000 tons! That's 32,000,000 pounds! And, breaking an entire DOG made of diamonds would take a force of 3 MILLION TONS! He's also shielded attacks from the universal cosmic destroyer, Giygas, who is the embodiment of evil himself! Wiz: And, after absorbing the entirety of Magicant, an ENTIRE UNIVERSE THAT HE CREATED IN HIS MIND, his psychic conscious overlapped with everything in the entire universe. He's basically become OMNIPRESENT. He's everywhere at once!! Boomstick: That's creepy. You mean he can see me while I take a shower? Wiz: I seriously doubt he would do that...he's a 13 year old kid. Ness is a nice kid. He's also..a pacifist, meaning he doesn't like to fight unless it's absolutely necessary. But Ness isn't perfect. Even he's got flaws. For example...he's a pacifist. Meaning he'll have to take some damage before beginning to fight. Also, at times in battle, he'll get homesick and miss his mother. Boomstick: As stupid as that weakness is....I don't blame him. Still, Ness proceeds to be a badass and one of the strongest Nintendo characters. Pre-Battle Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston Wiz: All right, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!! Fight! Hey guys..remember Sans VS Geno? Well, this battle takes place in an alternate universe of that battle, where instead of fighting Geno, he fights Ness! Enjoy!! ---- Snowdin Sans was having a normal day. He went over to Grillby's to get his daily dose of ketchup. He sat down at the counter with his brother, Papyrus. He had just finished work on a human detector. Papyrus was determined (no pun intended) to catch one, so he could finally join the Royal Guard. It was all he ever talked about. Sans: so, what? you just press the button and it tracks a human nearby? that's impressive. Papyrus: Nye he he! Precisely, my good bro! I got an unfinished prototype from Alphys, and with enough tinkering, it should work. This is my chance to catch a human! Sans: you could say it's......uh..actually, i don't have any puns for that one. Papyrus: About time! Now...let's see if this tracker really works! ''' Sans: pap, i don't think there are humans in the underground right n-... '''BEEEEEEP! Just then, the device had let out a noise, signifying that a human was nearby! Papyrus: You were saying? Sans: huh. i stand corrected. Papyrus: It says the human's right outside of Snowdin! I'ma go catch it! Wanna come with me, Sans? Sans: see, i would, but..i dunno...feelin' extra lazy today. Papyrus: Nye he he! I should've expected it from a lazybones like you! Sans: hey, nice pun. you saved me the work of making one myself. Papyrus: AAARRGH! Well, see you as soon as I catch the human! Papyrus then ran out of the restaurant, leaving Sans there. Sans sat on the counter there in silence for a few seconds. He then pulled out a book, Astro Boy Volume 2 and began to read it. Grillby: Watcha reading, Sans? Sans: it's a manga about a human kid who died and then was rebuilt as a robot. it's quite interesting. Grillby: Sounds neat. Lemme guess. Alphys gave it to ya? Sans: yep. you know how she loves anime. I usually don't read or watch anime, but this is just really interesting. Grillby: Nice. Elsewhere... ---- A butterfly fluttered down onto Ness's nose. He awoke with a start, still trembling. He looked around. He was in an open field. For a minute, he didn't know where he was. Then he remembered. Ness: This is... Saturn Valley. He looked around..and saw his friends. Paula, Jeff and Poo. Then, he looked up and saw..Apple Kid and Dr. Andonuts. Apple Kid: You did it...you defeated Giygas! Ness's face went from a look of disbelief to a look of happiness in a matter of seconds. He turned around and woke his friends up on the ground. Ness: Guys! We did it!! We're alive! We won!! Jeff ran over to his father and hugged him, with tears in his eyes, fogging up his glasses. All the Mr. Saturns surrounded the kids, cheering. Mr. Saturns: BoINg! THe eVIl hAs beEn dEFeAteD! Ness still couldn't believe it. They had stopped Giygas! Paula: Ness? Ness: Yeah? As Ness turned around to face Paula, she kissed him. Ness stared at Paula for a few seconds, blushing. Then he fell over on the ground. Jeff and Poo looked at each other. Poo: Told you it would happen. Jeff: It wasn't a matter of if, only when. The two of them busted out laughing as Paula helped Ness up, still blushing. Several minutes later.. Poo shook Ness's hand. Poo: It's been an honor, Ness. If you ever need a hand, all you have to do is ask. Ness: Thanks, Poo. Poo then turned around and ran so fast he caught fire and opened a portal to run through, using PSI Teleport. Ness turned to Jeff. Jeff: I'll stay here with my dad. We'll take the Sky Runner back to Winters. It's been great, guys..and very bizzare. Thanks. Ness: No problem. Ness had a massive grin on his face. Ness: This day couldn't get any better. ---- Sans's day couldn't get any worse. Moments earlier.. Sans was drinking a bottle of ketchup as he read Astro Boy, when an extremely scared Monster Kid came rushing into Grillby's. Sans: what's wrong, kid? Monster Kid: Sans! It's your brother! He...he.. Sans: oh crap.. Sans rushed out of the diner with the Monster Kid not far behind. They ran over to the edge of Snowdin, where they were greeted by a large cloud of dust and smoke. Sans saw something amidst all of the rubble. It was...Papyrus's smoldering scarf. Sans dropped to his knees, holding his hands in front of his face. Sans: papyrus..no...i should've gone with you! The Monster Kid stood away from Sans in fear. Monster Kid: T-the person who did this..it was...a red and blue human..He used some sort of fire power..and after he...after he....anyways, a wooden doll..thing.. came down from the sky and began to talk with the human...they couldn' have gone far..*sniff..* Sans: ..........thanks..don't worry..they're gonna get what's coming to them. Monster Kid: *Gulp* Okay.... ---- Back in Saturn Valley... Ness: So...back to Twoson? Paula: Sure. Ness: Alright. Ness opened a PSI Teleport portal and him and Paula ran through it. But they ended up in a completely different place. It was snowy, with a bunch of trees. Ness: What the heck?? I guess I may have overshot it. Paula: Maybe undershot it. I don't see the sun anywhere.. ???: heh..the girl's smart. Ness: What the heck? Where are you? Suddenly, a blue glowing eye showed up in the shadows. ???: so, papyrus got killed by a kid. huh. oh well. Ness: Look, I have no idea what you're talking about. Sans: so, where's your wooden friend? Ness: What? Sans: eghh...doesn't matter. the one i want to kill is you. Ness: Ummm.....Paula? You better get outta here..things are gonna get crazy. Ness opened a portal, this time going to Twoson, and Paula stepped through. Paula: I'll be waiting, Ness. Ness: See ya in a few. The portal closed, and Ness turned to the blue eye. It stepped out into the light, revealing a short skeleton wearing a blue hoodie and pink slippers. Sans: sup, i'm sans. you should be burning in hell. Ness:........don't suppose we can talk this out? Sans: no. Ness: Oooooookay.....guess we're doing this now... Sans got into a fighting pose, and so did Ness. FIGHT!! Sans lifted his hand up and a bone randomly shot out of nowhere. Ness had a shocked look on his face, but reacted quick and pointed his index finger at the quick bone. Ness: PK Fire!! Ness's finger caught on fire, and shot out a bolt of fire, destroying the bone. Sans hopped up, and in a small blue flash of light, a goat skull appeared underneath Sans. Ness: What the heck is that? Sans: so i was right. fire abilities..yep, you're the one. this is a gaster-blaster. aka, your doom. Ness: Wow, I've..never heard that before... The Gaster-Blaster opened its mouth and shot a laser blast out of it straight at Ness!! Ness reacted quickly to it and surrounded himself in a blue field. As soon as the beam came into contact with the field, it disappeared. Ness: Haven't used PSI Magnet in a while. Still got it. Sans made a sour face at Ness, but then flung his hand downward and several new bones came flying at Ness. Ness jumped off of the first bone that came at him, shot two PK Fires at the others, reducing them to cinders, and then grabbed the last one and threw it back at Sans. Sans's Gaster-Blaster opened its mouth again and shot a laser blast out of its mouth again, destroying the bone and continuing through to hit Ness again. Ness got hit by the blast, but regained his balance as he landed on the ground. Sans summoned more bones and shot them all at Ness. They all surrounded Ness, but he jumped up at the last second. But, instead of the bones crashing into each other, they all stopped and began to chase Ness upward. They began to close in around Ness like a cage, but Ness PSI Teleported out of it and reduced the bones to cinders with another PK Fire. Ness landed back on the ground, but Sans teleported behind Ness and kicked him, making him fall on his face. Sans: heh. put my sole into that one. really was a kick. Ness: Seriously? Those puns are terrible. Sans: so i've been told. Sans then surrounded Ness with bones coming from above, but Ness brought out his Yo-Yo and did the Around The World trick to break all of the bones. Sans sent a Gaster-Blaster to chase after Ness, ramming into him. Ness kicked the Gaster-Blaster off of him and threw it into the ground. Another Gaster-Blaster fired another beam, but Ness sidestepped the blast, making it blast the downed Gaster-Blaster, blowing it up. The Gaster-Blaster rushed at Ness, but Ness brandished his trusty Baseball Bat. And with a *SLAM!!!*, the Gaster-Blaster was killed by a skull crushing baseball bat blow (alliteration be damned!). Ness then looked at Sans, standing far away from Ness. In front of Sans was a fleet of Gaster-Blasters and a bunch of bones. Ness stared down at Sans...and oddly...he smiled, much to Sans's confusion. Ness: Well..let's continue! In that moment, all hell broke loose. Ness rushed into a line of Gaster-Blasters, tearing through their defenses. A few Gaster-Blasters tried to gang up on Ness with the assistance of some bones. but Ness destroyed the bones first with some sick Yo-Yo tricks, and then went after the Gaster-Blasters. He kicked off of one, propelling him into the air. He lifted both of his hands up, and wind began to spiral around it. Soon, there was a crackling ball of electricity in Ness's hands. Ness: PK THUNDER!!! Ness fired the ball of electricity at the Gaster-Blasters, frying any that dared come into contact with it. Ness finished frying an especially large Gaster-Blaster...when he saw Sans viewing from a distance. Without any further hesitation, Ness aimed the PK Thunder ball back at himself, and...hit himself with it, sending him flying towards Sans, crashing through Gaster-Blasters with an electrically charged tackle!! Sans saw this and shot a bone up from underneath, hitting Ness in the stomach. Sans then summoned more Gaster-Blasters, which all fired their laser beams at Ness, causing a massive blue explosion. When the dust cleared, Ness...was still standing, looking relatively unhurt. Ness took a step forward..but then randomly doubled over to his knees. Sans had a sly grin on his face. Sans: what you're feeling now is my KR. it'll slowly eat away at your life until even a small hit will take you down. Ness: So..it's poison....heh, well...I think you shouldn't underestimate your opponents so much. Ness stood up..and glowed white. Then, he opened his eyes with a grin on his face. Sans: d-did you really just - Ness: Heal from your poison? Yyyyyyyep. Sans: huh. you really dodged a bullet there. but i won't stop until papyrus is avenged. Ness stared at Sans. Ness: Look, I didn't kill your brother. Why would I kill him? I don't even know your brother. Sans: of course i would expect the dirty brother killer to lie. in a few moments, you'll be dead where you stand. Ness: Oooooookay.... Sans had his Gaster-Blaster fire more laser blasts at Ness, but this time, Ness was ready. Ness: PSI SHIELD!! Ness enveloped himself in a solid blue force field. It protected Ness from the laser blasts....for now. Ness couldn't defend forever, so he decided to go on the offense. Ness released a glowing green orb of energy that grew larger and larger. Ness smiled to himself. Ness: Perfect. PK FLASH!!! Ness detonated the orb of energy, releasing a massive blinding light, stunning not only the Gaster-Blasters, but Sans as well!! Ness rushed up to Sans and was about to swing into a heavy punch, but a line Gaster-Blaster got in the way and got punched instead, sending it flying into a boulder, shattering it. Ness was peppered with shrapnel, but nothing that serious. The still blinded Sans surrounded himself in a protective cage of bones while Gaster-Blasters guarded it. Ness: What should I do...I've got it! Ness ran at the cage, the Gaster-Blasters intercepted him. Ness's hands slowly began to collect frost on them. He pointed his index fingers at a Gaster-Blaster. Ness: PK FREEZE!!! Ness froze the Gaster-Blaster in a solid block of ice. Ness then hurled the block at the other Gaster-Blasters, breaking the frozen one into bits. Ness then shot PK Fires at the rest of them, burning them to ash. Ness stared at the cage of bones. Suddenly, he remembered something!! Ness closed his eyes. He didn't need to teleport into the cage. He was already there!! Ness opened his eyes. His eyes showed galaxies, stars and planets on them! Suddenly, Ness disappeared and appeared, right next to Sans in the cage!! The cage exploded, and Sans and Ness were there, staring down at each other. Sans: how...did you even get inside? i didn't see you teleport.. Ness: I forgot about something. During my time in this place called Magicant, which is actually an entire universe I made in my head.. Sans: well that isn't confusing at all.. Ness: I know, right? Anyways, so my conscious overlapped with everything in the universe. I'm...basically omnipresent. Sans stared at Ness. Ness: Yeah, I know. Pretty bizarre. Soooo.....I have a friend who's waiting for me.. Sans: and i've got a brother waiting to be avenged, kid, i think it's time we finished this. Ness: If you say so. Ness rushed at Sans once again, but this time, Sans was ready. He grabbed hold of Ness using his telekinesis, and held Ness in the air. Sans then summoned a massive flurry of bones, all of them landing solid hits on Ness. He then summoned more Gaster-Blasters to shoot lasers at Ness. Finally, Sans flung Ness up into the air. Ness regained his balance..while still being in the air. Ness quickly healed himself with PSI Healing, removing the poison. Then, Ness began to glow green. Ness's cuts healed. Ness had used PSI Lifeup. Ness stared at Sans below. Ness: This guy's really asking for it. Alright!! PK...STARSTOOOOOORM!!! Ness put both of his hands up in the air and began to glow blue. Just then, comets engulfed in blue flame came raining down from the sky in mass quantities, battering the area that they had been fighting in massive blue explosions!! Ness dropped to the ground. There were a lot of trees snapped, large craters, and the occasional patch of fire. Ness stared around, looking for Sans. Ness: Where did he...? Sans: IT'S OVER!!! Ness turned around, and SANS WAS RIGHT BEHIND HIM!! He had a single Gaster-Blaster left that was charging up a MASSIVE LASER BLAST!!! But Ness reacted quicker. In a flash, Ness shot out a PK Thunder ball, burning the Gaster-Blaster to a crisp. Ness then pointed a finger at Sans, paralyzing him! Ness had used PSI Paralysis!! Ness: No...IT'S OVER FOR YOU!!! Ness slammed Sans into the ground! He pointed both of his fingers at Sans's skull. With a PK Fire, Ness incinerated Sans's skull entirely!! Ness then kicked off of Sans's burning body and his hands began to glow red, blue and yellow!!! Ness: PK...ROCKIN'!!! Ness swung his hands in an "X" pattern, making him release a colorful psychokinetic wave of energy at Sans's body!! As soon as the wave came into contact with it, Sans's body quickly disintegrated, leaving nothing left!!! Ness dropped back on the ground and wiped sweat from his forehead. He looked at the burn mark where Sans had been. Ness: I'm sorry...you left me no choice. Ness then opened a PSI Teleport portal and walked through it, ending up in Twoson with Paula waiting. Paula: There you are. I was beginning to get worried. Ness: Thanks for waiting. Paula: It's no problem. Ness and Paula began to walk down the street, holding hands. K.O!!! Post-Analysis Boomstick: One. Word. EPIC. Wiz: Yeah, I gotta admit. That was pretty good. Sharaku Jr.: Thanks. I really outdid myself on this one. Wiz: Alright, while Sans may have been smarter than Ness, Ness took the cake in every other category. Boomstick: Now I'm hungry..sure, Sans and Ness had similar speed feats with the lightning and all, but what's being as fast as lightning gonna do against someone who's everywhere in the universe at once? Nothing. Not even Sans's teleportation would do him much good, since Ness is everywhere, Ness would just be in the location that Sans teleports to. Wiz: Not even Sans's KR would work. As we've said, Ness is omnipresent, and could easily avoid Sans's attacks. And even if Sans managed to hit Ness with some KR, Ness could just use PSI Healing to heal his status effects, and PSI Lifeup to heal his wounds. Boomstick: Ness was also waaaaaay more stronger and more durable. Ness can shield blows from Giygas, the cosmic destroyer of worlds, and can even damage him. Ness is also strong enough to destroy a dog made of pure diamonds, a feat requiring 3 million tons of force to pull off. What did Sans have? Well....a single point of HP, and since Ness can also teleport, Sans couldn't get out of this fight alive. Wiz: And don't forget about PK Rockin'. You know, the move that NEVER MISSES. So, in short, not only is Ness faster, stronger and more durable than Sans, he also had the likes of abilities that could survive the KR, avoid nearly all of Sans's attacks and eventually take Sans down. Boomstick: Looks like today, Sans had his world PK Rocked! Wiz: The Winner is Ness. Advantages and Disadvantages Ness (Winner) +Stronger +More Durable +Could heal himself and survive KR +PK Rockin' is unavoidable and Sans only had 1 HP. =Normal Speed +Except Ness is omnipresent.. -Not as smart Sans (Loser) +Smarter =Normal Speed +Except Ness is omnipresent... -Weaker -Less durable -KR would do nothing -PK Rockin' is unavoidable and Sans only had 1 HP. Next Time.. IT'S TIME FOR A JOKE BATTLE!!! (OK but why tho) Charlie Brown and Snoopy VS Calvin and Hobbes Category:'Undertale vs Earthbound' themed Death Battles Category:Earthbound/Mother Characters Category:"Kid vs. Adult" themed Death Battles Category:'Psychic' themed Death Battles Category:Sharaku Jr. Category:Sharaku Jr. Season 1 Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:'JRPGs' themed Death Battles Category:'Nintendo vs Undertale' themed Death Battles Category:Protagonist vs Antagonist themed Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Anti-Hero' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Series Premiere Category:Season Premiere Category:Death Battles with Music Category:'Indie vs Original' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2018 Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:'Original vs Homage/Rip-Off' Themed Death Battles Category:Sharaku Jr. Season 3 Category:Remaster Category:Undertale vs Nintendo themed battles